Having just returned from a Southern Illinois Miners game, a baseball team in Marion, Illinois (haven’t heard of it? Its called a fuckin map, take a look) in which we sat 6 rows from home plate, for a whopping 13 bucks. Usually, I’d take a caving in of my facial structure by a foul ball before I’d ever complain about any of this, but today was different; today we we sat in front of two male twinkies (twinners for you scoring at home) who couldn’t have been more than 13ish..I’m a terrible guesser of age (unless you’re a 17 year old girl: I smell jailbait) but the twinkies were there with their dad and older sister. Needless to say when I realized that I was having a Marty McFly moment in which I was looking at myself in the past, I immediately looked skyward and thought “lets see where this goes”. If you’ve read any of these posts (long winded back story), you know I have no idea what I truly look like, so it wouldn’t surprise you the slightest when I admit I’ve never thought of myself as a twin; growing up or now. It was always like I had a best friend, and we happened to have the same parents “you mean she’s your mom too?! Sicckkk broski” (verbatim conversation). I never grasped that whole “clone” of me concept. Note: I was born first, so that does give me claim to the fact that B is in fact, my clone. Anyhow, as I was sitting here, (creepily) watching/stalking these twinners, I came to far too many conclusions (none of which was “I’m gonna have to register as a sex offender if I don’t mind my own fucking business”). For starters, god created twins so that the introverted twin would always be the extroverted’s sidekick- a robin to his batman, a pippen to the others Jordan, a Ed McMahon to the others Johnny Carson, a Kevin Eubanks to the others Jay Leno (without the gay black man part) ..one was clearly more talkative, engaging his dad and sister constantly throughout the game, texting away. The other twin, not so much; he sat stoically, thinking and talking pretty much only to his bro. Though he seemed to articulate his points better (while still using “dude”, “sweet” and “lol” that is) and got better reactions from his sister when he did speak, he didn’t say a whole lot. (creeped out? Cause I am) While psychology would suggest that I was merely projecting my own insecurities off onto what I was seeing (this is why I like the Japanese; psychology is (can be) misused by those who wish to dismiss human behavior by categorizing it neatly into different diagnoses) I would tell that person to suck my dick cause that’s some steaming pile of bullshit. Well, not really, I’d probably agree (reluctantly), fuck. I watched these twins cause I wanted to know on a scale as to what I must look like to the general public (sans my massiveness). My true feelings are twins are each others best friend, while also being each others true nemesis. While in the process of how many years two twins “hang out” they get to know each other strengths, while also figuring out just how to bring the other down at any given point: there's always a way to completely destroy the others self-confidence, a way to bring the other so far down that they have to struggle to get back up. (sounds like an extremely cliche comic book) I know what I would have to do to my brother; I'm sure, as I've experienced some of it that he too knows how to do this to me. At that point, I feel as though there truly is an age where twins have to decide; are we mentally weak and going to live the bro life forever (and inadvertently remain in a perpetual state of some fucked up bachelorhood) or grow apart while doing it all on our own. Much like when Pippen ran the show in '94, its completely plausible.
(Note: in sticking with this analogy, while Pippen and the Bulls lost in 7 to the Knicks in the East Conference Semi finals (so clearly not the same results) he still averaged 21 ppg and 8 rebounds so, while he sat out and pouted cause it was Toni Kukoc who took the last shot in Game 3 of that series; I think its a sound analogy. Fuck I'd be pretty fuckin pleased if I could say I made the equivalent to the Eastern Conference Semifinals. While I'm unsure of the equivalent (imagine cars (WITH 22s!), broads (chicks or chickas) and money (cash, deniro, guap, chedda, bread, dough)
Were at that point; at times I feel bad for Bradley, because its hard for him to be himself around me. Not so much around me, but when I'm around, specifically if I'm the third wheel. There's a part of my personality which lends itself to being more compassionate, less aggressive than my brother.(Less manly, I’m sure) And while that makes him who he is, that’s also what sets me apart. But while I ponder all of this, I go for a walk, to grab two more beers (to begin the forgetting process). While on that walk I notice two more male twinners, these two all of five years old and dressed identically, head to toe. My initial thought was that this was all an elaborate dream, that I could flinch myself awake. (Fuck I def looked like a spaz) No dice, I then begin looking for Jack Nicholson wielding an ax, prepared to scalp me with one fell swoop; nope, I'm just stuck in twinkie land circa Rent One Ballpark. Sigh, if only it were The Shining.....
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