This is a cruel fucking joke; McDonalds, you fucking corporate suits and you're damn need for login information that causes the internet to crash. Here I sit, surrounded by All-American fat asses, hoping that my internet will work. And while my computer currently registers that I have a five bar wireless connection, I sit , dumb founded as to why I can't view anything, stuck in a perpetual state of loading, the depths of internet hell. I contemplate my next move to reacquaint myself with my friend, the internet, but nothing, just blank white and the hope that we may meet again. Is this what heroin withdrawal feels like? I can suddenly sympathize. I wonder how my fantasy baseball team did this week. Almost certainly a loss, with my luck. Truly sad that this is my first worry when it comes to being cut off from the connected world. I feel like more of a creep as I analyze when the Waynesburg high school cheerleading night is at this current McDonalds (September 2nd!!!!) They have a coach, right? She had to be a former cheerleader (that’s at least my story to the eventual authorities) and given that I'm cruising around in a conversion vehicle/rape/child molester van; I'm almost certain people will think I'm going to ask for help loading a rug into my van to take to my lair and force my victim to lather themselves in lotion. (that last part gave the reference away)..Fuck me, I suppose I'll drown my sorrows in my Frappe and get on with my miserably internet-free existence.
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Well the McDonald's might be your first problem, doesn't Waynesburg have some classier establishments with Wifi? Barnes and Noble? Panera? The local library? Here's a hint most local libraries don't turn off the old Wifi at night, you could just go sit outside of one if you get desperate.
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